‘RHOSLC’ Recap, Episode 11: There’s Something About Mary

In its fifth season, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is now a franchise where I feel a true history with these ladies. After seeing them go through so much together, I can safely say nobody’s character development has rocked me more than Mary M. Cosby’s. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I can’t wrap my head around this season’s Mary being the same shady pastor best known for telling Jen Shah she smelled “like hospital” and unforgettably marrying her step-grandfather. Yes, this season has primarily revolved around these women re-evaluating their loyalties to one another and Bronwyn’s stellar first season — but also their own real life drama, like Angie speaking beautifully about her mother’s alcoholism and death in last week’s episode. While Mary’s concern over Robert Jr.’s alarming behavior has been touched upon, it is in this episode that we finally understand how grave the situation is.

I assumed his issues had to do with drug use based on his on-camera behavior, but the confirmation that Robert Jr. had been abusing drugs like Xanax and Adderall, as well as his suicidal ideations felt far heavier than what we have seen on any franchise in quite some time. I feel conflicted about how this episode was presented, and there’s much to touch on in the lead-up to the gut-punching last scene between Mary and Robert Jr.

This season, Meredith has not brought much to the table outside her total victim complex. For Meredith, it is Meredith against the world. In her eyes, she is the most disrespected woman in Salt Lake City. During her blowup at Mary’s Audrey Hepburn–themed brunch the previous week, Meredith stormed out during her fight with Angie, but in her mind, she did not storm out but was kicked out by Mary. Of course, Mary did not actually kick her out but generally stated that unless she and Angie stopped yelling, they could both leave.

What kills me about Meredith is that she believes problem-solving is inviting Mary to an ugly art gallery that sells the type of bullshit photography you see in the lobby of a bank to hash it out. She shows some concern by telling Mary that her behavior is out of character, but she does not manage to go further by really asking what’s going on. I just think, if your whole thing is that you are concerned with your friend’s behavior and that you’ve been there for her unequivocally for the last four years, would you not prod a bit more and try harder to meet her where she is? I was glad Mary was not having it and could recognize that maybe Meredith was never there for her. It’s especially hypocritical considering how often Meredith has blown up over the last few seasons for seemingly no reason, only to provide cryptic reasons she can’t discuss for her own outsize reactions.

Despite Mary and Meredith being in a worse place than ever before, I was thrilled and relieved to see Lisa and Angie come to an understanding at the aquarium. The thing is, these two don’t have any real problems to solve. I think Angie finally realized that Lisa will always be Lisa and that Lisa just needed assurance that Angie was still her ride-or-die. I don’t think Angie needed to bring up her childhood trauma to show Lisa how it’s kind of insane to be yelled at so often, but I think fundamentally, she and Lisa have a deep bond. They’re also fun to watch together, and this season needs more silliness! Hopefully, that’s the end of THAT.

While Bronwyn expressed shock that Whitney and Heather were organizing this girl’s camp, I am not remotely surprised; it shows more how Bronwyn is still a newbie. Yes, Whitney has talked a lot of casual shit about Heather (her “cousin”) to Bronwyn (a woman she barely knows) and seemingly took Bronwyn’s side against Heather. But that’s just how Whitney and Heather are! They’re always betraying one another, but they always come right back to being family. It was funny to see Bronwyn bringing up how much shit Whitney has talked about Heather to Heather as some kind of gotcha. Heather is right; they all talk shit about each other when they’re mad! It’s not always necessarily going to be a point of conflict.

It is funny that any of them could get over what happened at Mary’s Audrey Hepburn–themed brunch through an event organized by Whitney and Heather. Frankly, one big complaint about this franchise is that I don’t know how many more of these manufactured outings I can take at this point. I know Bravo produces Housewives’ trips and situations so that they can all be together. But the amount of activities these women do feels more like co-workers being pushed into an off-site team-building exercise than if they all had to show up to a party! I guess not much happens in Utah, but there has to be a better way than getting them to drive to the mountains so they can sit in a circle and fight.

The campfire situation devolved so quickly and so passionately that it was almost difficult to understand what was happening throughout this cross-talk. Basically, everyone is mad at everyone, with clear sides being taken as we later see who gets invited to Meredith and Seth’s Shabbat dinner. But most importantly, this scene showed me two things: Bronwyn finally understands there’s no way to be a “righteous” Housewife guided by truth above all else. She has finally let go of whatever real-life conflict-resolution skills she has carried on from the real world into this universe, and she managed to get into it with basically everyone without any real strategy involved. Not everything is chess! I enjoyed seeing her just go off for no reason.

Of course, the undercurrent is that Mary really let loose in a way that ruined the vibe altogether because she very clearly is at the end of her rope in her personal life. I think the women still have a bit of residual fear when it comes to questioning Mary. Yes, she has been responsive this season to understanding different points of view, but it hasn’t always been this way. I still think there could have been a way for someone to really ask what the hell is going on with her.

This is why I find some of the editing in this episode suspicious. Maybe this is conspiratorial, but I found Mary’s conversation with Robert Jr. to be teed up with concern from the ladies at Meredith’s — it felt a bit manufactured. At Meredith’s Shabbat, Britani, Bronwyn, Lisa, and Heather, all in attendance, bring up how the failed camping trip went. But I was struck by how the conversation about Mary’s behavior began at twilight, only for Meredith openly worrying about Mary to take place when it was pitch black. Here’s what I think happened: They never really were planning on being concerned about Mary but only talked shit. Which is when a producer had to step in and let them know it was going to be a bad look once the news about Robert Jr. came out. It felt so rehearsed when she mentioned a “bigger problem,” and Britani then said, “Meredith makes a good point. Maybe we need to give Mary some grace.” It just all felt so scripted!

I also felt uneasy with how that conversation with Robert Jr. took place. I don’t think it was necessarily planned, and I don’t think Mary would put her son in that type of position, considering how deeply and obviously concerned she is for him. Bravo doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to dealing with real life darkness as we’ve seen so many times. As long ago as it was, I still cannot forget how poorly Taylor Armstrong’s domestic abuse was dealt with on air. I understand Robert Jr.’s issues inform Mary’s season, but I fear this being treated as a storyline rather than a life-or-death situation. Robert Jr. is still so young, and I also fear he may regret this pivotal life moment being aired on TV someday in the future.

I don’t think I have ever seen such a display of vulnerability with the children in the Housewives universe or even with the topic of substance abuse. It nearly destroyed me to watch Robert Jr. tell Mary he felt like a stain and that the only thing stopping him from ending his life was his mother. I don’t know where Robert Jr. goes from here, but I hope it’s the beginning of a sobriety journey. I know these women will eventually know the depth of Mary’s heartache, but will she be able to forgive them for not putting in a real effort to be there for her? I can’t imagine it will be easy to let go of that lack of care, especially from Meredith.

• What is wrong with Todd? Has he ever been around people before? How does he manage to suck the air out of every room? Bronwyn keeps getting spoken to like she is a child by him in front of her friends and on camera, it’s upsetting.

• Heather explained soaking so much this episode and it feels like it came through four seasons too late — how did she not talk about it when her storylines focused more around leaving the Mormon church.

• I think these ladies have figured out that Britani doesn’t need to be saved from Jared at all. She lives for this type of drama and probably doesn’t want it any other way. I think it’s good the women are able to laugh about it with her rather than it be a huge concerning issue.

• Meredith’s hearing aids kind of seem as serious as someone needing glasses in my opinion. I don’t think it’s THAT serious!