‘Sweet and tender’ or ‘like abuse’? Why gay BDSM ‘romcom’ Pillion is dividing opinion

Though Bisbey praises Pillion as “one of the most authentic depictions of a leather relationship I’ve seen on screen”, she also suggests it’s missing a key scene – one which might make the central relationship seem healthier. “We never see a negotiation between Colin and Ray as to the terms of their relationship, which to me is one of the few things about the film that isn’t authentic. In BDSM relationships, that conversation always takes place,” Bisbey says. Yet at the same time, she can understand why Lighton omitted this from his screenplay. “From a film-maker’s point of view, that conversation would slow things down and break the tension,” she says. Skarsgård’s Ray remains a bewitching enigma right to the end of the film, which adds to the character​​’s exotic charisma. He speaks with a suave American accent and looks like the Hollywood star that Skarsgård really is, but we never learn how he ended up in a quiet corner of south London. And while we see Colin trundling through his humdrum job as a parking inspector, there’s no insight into how Ray funds his lifestyle or spends his daytime hours.

Wignall argues that this alluring elusiveness tips the film into “fantastical” territory. “Because there’s a lack of discussion about the limits of their relationship, and because Colin just seems to click into place as Ray’s sub with no real communication, it doesn’t feel like real life,” he says. However, it should be noted that Lighton took strides to make the film authentic by spending time with the Gay Bikers’ Motorcycle Club, the UK and Europe’s largest LGBT+ motorcycling club. Some of its members have supporting roles in the film as biking comrades of Ray. 

Ian Wilson, who also appears in the film and served as its unofficial “kink coordinator”, has said that Colin and Ray’s dynamic contains echoes of an unhealthy relationship he experienced. “I think we discover Ray in the same way that Colin does. We see him at the beginning of the film as this gorgeous guy… And we gradually fall out of love with him,” Wilson told GQ. Skarsgård’s character doesn’t change much as the film progresses, but Melling’s Colin gains in confidence and shows glimmers of agency, which feels like an important development. 

The Fifty Shades comparison

Pillion isn’t the first film about a BDSM relationship to weather controversy. Most notoriously, the first instalment in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy was met with protests when it opened in cinemas in 2015. Campaigners felt that its central relationship, between a domineering male billionaire and a meek female college student, was desperately unhealthy. Natalie Collins, who led the 50 Shades is Domestic Abuse campaign, told the BBC at the time: “We are really concerned about the way that he stalks her, he coerces her into sex, he coerces her into giving up her car, he harasses her, he’s emotionally abusive.” However, Bisbey is roundly dismissive of comparisons between Pillion and the Fifty Shades of Grey films, which are based on bestselling novels by EL James. “Most people in the kink community hate those books and the films because they contain every single bad cliché about BDSM that you could find,” she says. “Whereas I can’t think of another film that’s depicted BDSM and leather relationships like Pillion. It’s just brilliant.”